Next, 4) never allow your foreign maids to call you 'kakak' and your husband 'abang'. They should address you as 'ibu' and your husband as 'bapak' or 'puan' and 'tuan'. If they call your husband abang, they will soon feel that they have the same rights as you in the house and will treat you as their 'madu' (they began to 'khayal' (dream) that they are one of the wives). 5) Do not communicate with them in their language, you should teach them to use your language; eg they will use the word 'aku' teach them to say 'saya'. 6) Do not allow them to speak in a voice tone louder than yours. If you allow that, soon both of you will be shouting to each other. You, young madams have to be brave and firm, show them who is boss! When they know you mean business, they will not dare step over the line. I seldom have problem with maids except the very stupid ones or the 'gila' ones.