Monday, 25 June 2007

Good Manners must be taught

My dear anak buah, I am sorry I have to 'tegur' and educate some of you on good manners and Malay custom. Firstly, you must greet your relatives when you meet them. 2) You must salam them by clasping their hands, bend down your head and kiss their hand if they are your elderly relatives. If you do not kiss their hands you may just bend and lower your head to show respect while doing the salam. However you are not to kiss your own hand! ( I have noticed several young people doing that) 3) You are to dress appropriately when relatives come to your house or when you visit them. 4) Treat your relatives graciously, just like you treat other guests by offering them food and drinks.( if guests drop in at meal times, you must offer them to lunch or dine with you. They may politely decline the offer).5) When close relatives or friends drop in (especially if they come from far), be ready with a small present 'buah tangan' that you may give them when they are leaving.6) Invite them to stay overnight if they come from outstation. 7) Make them feel at home by showing them a room where they can use to rest or do their prayers. (offer them towels, prayer materials etc) 8) Send them off when thay are leaving and with the salam utter words of thanks for their visit.


  1. I think this profound "teguran" is universal; this is also sort of reminder for me too. Sometimes we tend to forget how to 'behave' properly. Eversince I got married I will try to ensure that guests are comfortable especially when the guests are my relatives either from my side or from my hubby's side.

    I do notice that nowadays there are anak-menantu who do not practice the "buah-tangan" tradition when they visit their in-laws! I personally think that this traditional value not only applied to married couple; if you are single and visiting your brother in law for example who have small kids, you can bring their children foodies that children love - chocolates etc. Or better still, you can cook them something, even cekodok pun tak apa.

    I remember when I was small, if any relative or friends of my parents came visiting us, my father will make sure each and every one of us, get down and salam-ed our guests properly saying our names and of course we were dressed accordingly - a 'sopan' outfit. Now, i practice the same thing with my children.

  2. Referring to your comment on my blog: I think most of my blogging friends are young mothers and we love to refer ourselves as "hot-gucci mama" hehehehe not many older malaysian female bloggers that I've found may be tak jumpa lagi kot but there's one which I always frequent i.e Pok Ku. Most of his children have blog and one of them is my friend, Elisa. If you visit Pok Ku's blog, on the left is the link to many, many bloggers. If you have time do blog-hop and leave one or two comments at my friends blog; they'd be delighted.

    Actually, I am glad to find you in the blogging world, we certainly need words of wisdom from you!

  3. I am so sorry if you feel offended, it's not my intention though! I totally understand your predicament, my own mom doesn't even know how to onn the computer!! let alone to blog! Yea, it's a good thing to catch up with technology, am sure you'll get lots of friends. *smile*

  4. I was not really offended but memanglah terasa out skit about this modern technology! Thanks to you dah pandai la ni. He he..